Ok, so this is going to be a long post! First a little background:
I'm 32 and have been suffering from ejaculatory anhedonia since I was 25. I went from having great orgasms to 0/10 orgasms. I could always make myself ejaculate - so I can maintain a relationship however I've been feeling next to nothing for about 7 years. It's has from time to time made me quite depressed, especially when watching girl friends have earth shattering orgasms and I have none. I can now experience orgasms again. They are improving all the time within a week I went from 0 out 10 to 5 out of ten and today I had my best yet. Not earth shattering just a normal orgasm that I used to experience when wacking the bat back in the day. I call earth shattering when you’re with a lady and your prostate and whole body is involved that’s a 10 for me. I’m pretty sure you’d be happy with what I grade as a 5 – if you’ve been having 0s, 1s etc.
Let me start by saying this is not a thread about a bunch of supplements that you're going to need to take with stupid doses etc. It's not about raising dopamine levels although I will touch on these topics.
What we are suffering from is a tension disorder - pure and simple. Your muscles in your pelvic floor, hips and abdomen have stopped working in synergy. It will vary from person to person but enough muscles in certain areas of your body have become tight enough to cause the basket of muscles that surrounds the prostate, including the PC muscle to be in a state of contraction which doesn’t turn off. They’ve become fatigued and in turn have lost their sensitivity. This means your pelvic floor rhythm which is like a wave has hit a wall of muscle tension that it can’t get through and thus can’t maintain its proper health.
Things I’ve noticed – Taking amphetamines would make me experience better orgasms slightly the same with weed occasionally. This is not a CURE it just means your nervous system got a jolt and started releasing some tension – temporarily. Once the drugs wear off your body returns to its ‘learned’ tense state again.
Things you’ll need and things I strongly recommend you go out and buy:
1. Aneros Helix – Prostate massager – lot of lube you’re going to use it often
2. Foam Rollers and massage balls The TP brand is by far the best.
www.tptherapy.com3. A softball. Not the hard ones the ones that are a bit rubbery and have a bit of give in them
4. Time, patience and persistence.
I would also recommend you do some yoga, it won’t cure you but it will help. I did it for years and would have slightly better orgasms after training. Then it would go back to normal.
So it’s not just the PC muscles that are the problem. I’ve read these forums and I hear people harping on about it. YES it is very much related but it’s ALL the muscles that need to work together. Start familiarising yourself with the pelvic floor muscles such as the levitator ani, PC, Piriformis. ALL OF THEM. Look at this:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/pelvic-floor.jpgThat’s just some. You’ll also need to work on your lower back abdomen and SUPER SUPER important is your psoas muscle which is a pain to massage but once you start getting it you’ll start feeling other parts of your body relax too. I’d recommend a regime for stretching your psoas also.
What I do: I often lube up my thumb and stick it in my anus. I use it to massage and gently stretch the anus. Then I go in a bit deeper and message the pelvic walls a bit. You can use a small dildo to do this too if you can’t reach well. Then I put the aneros helix in my rectum and relax and breathe for half an hour or so. Pay very close attention to what your feeling, which muscles are grabbing the base of the helix and what your pelvic floor feels like. When I first started it was quite uncomfortable. Now I have no problem having it in there and it often feels good.
This is a really big point – you need to do everything I’m talking about mindfully. You are trying to feel and recognize all the muscles you can that are tight once you can feel then you’ll be able to start relaxing them again.
After using the helix. I get the massage ball and foam follers and massage my glutes, psoas, hip flexors, abdomen lower back and around the kidneys, glute medius and minimum, quads, hamstring and just about everything I can find that has a trigger point. I am quite aggressive with this but trust your own judgement. Try not to bruise yourself and be careful when laying on a softball near your prostate In fact just roll around on the left and right of your prostate. Do these things often. Probably ever other day would be a good start. Breathe deeply while using these things and try to relax the muscles. Find the sore spots and sit on them for up to 30 seconds to a minute while breathing deeply. The sore spots are the trigger points that need attention work them out over time be patient.
Now you’ll also need to do these exercises EVERY DAY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5XI-hY4b4http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoOayJXqvi0&list=PLJnLoI_FnpCvl3DKsdVq7aM57cS2UGvEMand also come to a full squat often keep your feet flat on the floor and bring your bum all the way down to the floor like you’re a frog, stretch open your hips and open (without using your arms use the muscles of your legs to spread them out) while breathing deeply.
Read about kegel and reverse kegels you’ll need to do both of them to re-awaken the muscles and get control of them again. You should be doing both of them a lot – Avoid the normal kegels until you’ve relieved some of the pelvic floor tension you already have. Too much clenching will make matters worse if you can’t relax them too. Over time you will slowly lengthen the muscles and the knots will fade.
Play around with the PC muscles while masturbating. Relax and open it and let it tighten while masturbating your looking to regain control over this muscles. Relaxing it a little before orgasm will bring back some of the pleasure you’ve been missing until you have a solid relaxed pelvic foor again and pelvic rhythm. Don't be affraid to try everything you can and don't fear doing things wrong just keep using your intuition and over time the clues will lead you to your tight spots and you'll start doing stuff to relax the pelvic floor and muscles.
IMPORTANT Read this:
http://www.pelvichealthsolutions.ca/for-the-patient/pelvic-floor-muscle-tightness/pelvic-floor-rythm/and this:
http://www.stephanie-spencer.com/171/the-pelvic-floor/This could take a long time for some people. It’s a matter of rehabilitation not instant cure. A lot of these muscles that aren’t working surround your prostate are inside you. You’re trying to feel them out and relax them. You’ll have to be mindful and learn to breathe properly with your abdomen again so that they can relax and stay relaxed.
I hope this information helps people as it did me. Thank god for the internet.
Ralding.