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Body dysmorphia

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empathy121:
I wonder if body image issues have a part to play in this...
I am still convinced that our issue is rooted in a learned muscle tension problem of the pelvic floor muscles.
To cut to the chase, I recognise in myself that I strain slightly to make my penis bigger ie I'm never fully satisfied with the size of my penis flaccid so try and make it bigger.
I wonder if this is confounding the already established pelvic floor tension. I also wonder if I don't really have an issue with penis size at all and that the learned tension encourages me to maintain these habits.
I know that the penis size thing is entirely psychological as I know I am at least average sized! but nonetheless it is clearly an issue to me. Never being happy with my chap's relaxed state so that I tense it slightly to make it grow I believe has fuelled the tension problem. Maybe, at least for me, this psychological block could be inhibiting my cure and I should learn to let it go so that the underlying physical problem can sort itself out!
Does this touch a nerve with anyone or am I alone here?
empathy

Saul:
I have something I would say is akin to body dismorphic disorder, so you may be on to something there.
I causes me to focus not on something other than the body I have, somewhat detatching myself from the real stimulus going on.

To clarify a little I am quite odd and possibly a bit of a sadist in that I find the general workings of the human body absolutely repellent. I am disgusted by a lot of the basic processes and furthermore pissed off by the fact that we can only see a tiny fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum, can only exist withing in an extremely narrow temperature and pressure range without dying, and we are subject to all manor of problems as a result of poor evolutionary engineering.
This comes down to "common sense duality." We all feel like we are not just our body, but something inside our body. We are a pilot just behind our eyes... In reality we are not, we are just out bodies, but unfortunately no amount of rational thought can seem to shake the idea that we SHOULD be far much more.

Saul:
Also I can identify with the type of tensing which causes a slight increase in pressure in the penis resulting in a very small increase in size.
This unfortunately happens automatically everytime I touch my penis and is a specific muscle reaction that I have been trying to relax. Unfortunately it is extremely slow progress.

NoFun:

--- Quote from: empathy121 on July 13, 2011, 11:00:04 AM ---I wonder if body image issues have a part to play in this...
To cut to the chase, I recognise in myself that I strain slightly to make my penis bigger ie I'm never fully satisfied with the size of my penis flaccid so try and make it bigger.
...
I know that the penis size thing is entirely psychological as I know I am at least average sized! but nonetheless it is clearly an issue to me. Never being happy with my chap's relaxed state so that I tense it slightly to make it grow I believe has fuelled the tension problem. Maybe, at least for me, this psychological block could be inhibiting my cure and I should learn to let it go so that the underlying physical problem can sort itself out!
Does this touch a nerve with anyone or am I alone here?
empathy

--- End quote ---
What you're describing is classic performance anxiety - being very conscious and focused on how you are judged, and judging and monitoring yourself and your body. Not feeling, but evaluating. The behavioral exercises sex therapists give are all about avoiding that kind of judgment and monitoring, and just focusing on what feels good. They'll usually start with exercises where your partner is not allowed to bring you to ejaculation, so that there is no anticipatory "are we there yet?", and just a focus on feeling.

I know I monitor too much, and I've partners who have been bothered by my lack of ejaculation and orgasm, so that doesn't help either.

Saul adds a disgust with his body to the mix. I can't see how that would do anything but help prevent orgasms.

If alcohol didn't have such negative effects on libido and erections, I'd suggest having a few to try to turn off the judgmental part of the mind. Alcohol and yohimbine might make a good combo - the alcohol turns off the judgment, makes you sleepy, and diminishes erection, while the yohimbine keeps you awake and helps erection. Maybe you can end up with the judgment off, a decent erection, and be able to sleep after. I think red wine can actually heo

empathy121:
I don't have any performance anxiety issues apart from being conscious of EA. I have never felt comfortable enough to tell any girlfriends about my issue so feel I need to act to cover it up. What I'm talking about is perpetuating a pelvic floor tension problem by tensing the muscles slightly when masturbating or otherwise. I believe what we have is a dysfunctional pelvic floor that is in a constant state of tension. One that causes ejaculation to trigger whilst blocking the associated pleasure messages, perhaps to do with putting pressure on the pudendal nerve, or having a damaged pudendal nerve in the first place. I was wondering if I have a habit of tensing the penis because I am uncomfortable with it's relaxed state, and that by doing so makes the tension issue worse.

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