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General Category => I'm Cured! => Topic started by: Ralding on September 18, 2013, 11:11:16 PM

Title: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 18, 2013, 11:11:16 PM
Ok, so this is going to be a long post! First a little background:
I'm 32 and have been suffering from ejaculatory anhedonia since I was 25. I went from having great orgasms to 0/10 orgasms. I could always make myself ejaculate - so I can maintain a relationship however I've been feeling next to nothing for about 7 years. It's has from time to time made me quite depressed, especially when watching girl friends have earth shattering orgasms and I have none. I can now experience orgasms again. They are improving all the time within a week I went from 0 out 10 to 5 out of ten and today I had my best yet. Not earth shattering just a normal orgasm that I used to experience when wacking the bat back in the day. I call earth shattering when you’re with a lady and your prostate and whole body is involved that’s a 10 for me. I’m pretty sure you’d be happy with what I grade as a 5 – if you’ve been having 0s, 1s etc.

Let me start by saying this is not a thread about a bunch of supplements that you're going to need to take with stupid doses etc. It's not about raising dopamine levels although I will touch on these topics.

What we are suffering from is a tension disorder - pure and simple. Your muscles in your pelvic floor, hips and abdomen have stopped working in synergy. It will vary from person to person but enough muscles in certain areas of your body have become tight enough to cause the basket of muscles that surrounds the prostate, including the PC muscle to be in a state of contraction which doesn’t turn off. They’ve become fatigued and in turn have lost their sensitivity. This means your pelvic floor rhythm which is like a wave has hit a wall of muscle tension that it can’t get through and thus can’t maintain its proper health.

Things I’ve noticed – Taking amphetamines would make me experience better orgasms slightly the same with weed occasionally. This is not a CURE it just means your nervous system got a jolt and started releasing some tension – temporarily. Once the drugs wear off your body returns to its ‘learned’ tense state again.

Things you’ll need and things I strongly recommend you go out and buy:

1. Aneros Helix – Prostate massager – lot of lube you’re going to use it often
2. Foam Rollers and massage balls The TP brand is by far the best. www.tptherapy.com
3. A softball. Not the hard ones the ones that are a bit rubbery and have a bit of give in them
4. Time, patience and persistence.
I would also recommend you do some yoga, it won’t cure you but it will help. I did it for years and would have slightly better orgasms after training. Then it would go back to normal.
So it’s not just the PC muscles that are the problem. I’ve read these forums and I hear people harping on about it. YES it is very much related but it’s ALL the muscles that need to work together. Start familiarising yourself with the pelvic floor muscles such as the levitator ani, PC, Piriformis. ALL OF THEM. Look at this: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/pelvic-floor.jpg
That’s just some. You’ll also need to work on your lower back abdomen and SUPER SUPER important is your psoas muscle which is a pain to massage but once you start getting it you’ll start feeling other parts of your body relax too. I’d recommend a regime for stretching your psoas also.

What I do: I often lube up my thumb and stick it in my anus. I use it to massage and gently stretch the anus. Then I go in a bit deeper and message the pelvic walls a bit. You can use a small dildo to do this too if you can’t reach well. Then I put the aneros helix in my rectum and relax and breathe for half an hour or so. Pay very close attention to what your feeling, which muscles are grabbing the base of the helix and what your pelvic floor feels like. When I first started it was quite uncomfortable. Now I have no problem having it in there and it often feels good.

This is a really big point – you need to do everything I’m talking about mindfully. You are trying to feel and recognize all the muscles you can that are tight once you can feel then you’ll be able to start relaxing them again.

After using the helix. I get the massage ball and foam follers and massage my glutes, psoas, hip flexors, abdomen lower back and around the kidneys, glute medius and minimum, quads, hamstring and just about everything I can find that has a trigger point. I am quite aggressive with this but trust your own judgement. Try not to bruise yourself and be careful when laying on a softball near your prostate In fact just roll around on the left and right of your prostate. Do these things often. Probably ever other day would be a good start. Breathe deeply while using these things and try to relax the muscles. Find the sore spots and sit on them for up to 30 seconds to a minute while breathing deeply. The sore spots are the trigger points that need attention work them out over time be patient.

Now you’ll also need to do these exercises EVERY DAY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5XI-hY4b4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoOayJXqvi0&list=PLJnLoI_FnpCvl3DKsdVq7aM57cS2UGvEM

and also come to a full  squat often keep your feet flat on the floor and bring your bum all the way down to the floor like you’re a frog, stretch open your hips and open (without using your arms use the muscles of your legs to spread them out) while breathing deeply.

Read about kegel and reverse kegels you’ll need to do both of them to re-awaken the muscles and get control of them again. You should be doing both of them a lot – Avoid the normal kegels until you’ve relieved some of the pelvic floor tension you already have. Too much clenching will make matters worse if you can’t relax them too. Over time you will slowly lengthen the muscles and the knots will fade.
Play around with the PC muscles while masturbating. Relax and open it and let it tighten while masturbating your looking to regain control over this muscles. Relaxing it a little before orgasm will bring back some of the pleasure you’ve been missing until you have a solid relaxed pelvic foor again and pelvic rhythm. Don't be affraid to try everything you can and don't fear doing things wrong just keep using your intuition and over time the clues will lead you to your tight spots and you'll start doing stuff to relax the pelvic floor and muscles.

IMPORTANT Read this:
http://www.pelvichealthsolutions.ca/for-the-patient/pelvic-floor-muscle-tightness/pelvic-floor-rythm/

and this:

http://www.stephanie-spencer.com/171/the-pelvic-floor/

This could take a long time for some people. It’s a matter of rehabilitation not instant cure. A lot of these muscles that aren’t working surround your prostate are inside you. You’re trying to feel them out and relax them. You’ll have to be mindful and learn to breathe properly with your abdomen again so that they can relax and stay relaxed.
I hope this information helps people as it did me. Thank god for the internet.
Ralding.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: bongo on September 19, 2013, 05:53:19 AM
where have you been why is this your 1st post , which bits could i avoid ive tried all sorts up my bum its numb up there no feeling at all
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: lostmojo on September 19, 2013, 02:23:14 PM
You say that orgasms were a 0 out of 10 for you. What about general sexual sensitivity and the buildup prior to orgasm?

I personally have very little sexual sensation on the penis, perineum or anus. That is, I am almost completely sexually numb in the entire pelvic region but I do have some limited sensation. There are quite a few of us in this forum that are like me.

It would be useful to know which category you fit into, you had no orgasms but were otherwise normal? Or you were suffering from a general sexual numbness?
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 19, 2013, 06:17:49 PM
Hi Lostmojo, I had complete numbness. I got no feeling while being stimulated. I could still ejaculate because I believe that's what the pudendal nerver does. I believe that you can trigger the pudendal nerver to accomplish ejaculation without feeling any pleasure. I guess nature is smart doesn't care if you orgasm but nature wants its babies.

Bongo: Sorry yeah this is my first post I've been reading this forum and his and herhealth forum for ages now trying to piece all the clues together for myself and now that i'm making solid progress and am confident in what's happening I thought I would share - sorry.

I am still re-awakening the whole region and I am now feeling pleasure while masturbating again and during sex. It's definitely not as sensitive as it used to be but to be perfectly honest I used to be a premature ejaculator. I would just feel waaaaay too much sensation and would often cum on contact with a female wet spot :) much to my girlfriend of the times dismay and my embarrassment. Once full numbness and desensitization set in I could go for as long as I wanted and then I would cum and feel absolutely nothing. I still wanted sex cause of the idea of it and I’m still attracted to people and well I had libido (which is separate issue) but it didn’t feel like anything.
 
My WHOLE region was tense and had made everything numb. I am now feeling again and can feel pleasure in my penis around the base of the penis and to the side of the penis near the hips.

So there are these superficial muscles that are just under the skin that start near the base of the penis and go up under the skin into the abdomen and accross into the hips. These are the ones that feel good these are the muscles that bring on that lovely sensation of orgasm, mine were numb and they were hardly moving at the time of orgasm basically they couldn't do there job: See this diagram:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/Organs_of_male_pelvic_cavity_medical_specimen.jpg

I was never in pain they were just not working healthily anymore and not moving. Interesting to note these were the LAST muscles to finally relax after relaxing everything else in my pelvic region, When they opened up I actually felt sharp pains and pangs near the base of my penis where I’ve scribbled circles in the picture above. At first I was like what the hell? Then I realised they were getting blood and sensation again and were relaxing. Looking at that picture again don’t underestimate what tight fascia will do. I was massaging my inner thighs hips all those muscles around there that you can see and they were all contributing. Sitting at a desk wearing jeans and wearing belts are TERRIBLE for this whole region. We’re just not designed to wear and do those things and over time the fascia bound up with all the other muscles.

Those muscles and that whole front region is full of muscle fascia not far under the skin they work with the PC muscles but i'm certian there is more to them than just the PC muscles that runs into your pelvis and connects at the anus and the perineum . In me it was all bound up and knotted. However it's only been recently that I've FINALLY been able to release those muscles. They were the last to let go. They’re all connected. They all work together. The psoas was a big one here causing this area grief. It’s the biggest strongest muscle in the body. It really needs to function correctly

Now the place I needed to start was inside my anus and levitator ani muscles. They were tight. Now that I’ve released a lot of those muscles I feel lighter during the day, I feel lighter in bed I feel like blood and nourishment is moving through the area again. They feel relaxed and balances. Well mostly I’m still not perfect. There is a cavity of muscles inside your butt that needs to be relaxed picture an orange with a hole in it. The hole is your anus. The orange is hollow but the skin is a basket of muscles that run in all different direction. The need to all relax and move properly again. I’d say we all have tension and trigger points in there and just don’t know it.
Look at this:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/123787430.jpg

So moving on

Here is a really dodgy picture I have made:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/msucles.png
The circles are the muscles running from the penis down the perineum to the anus and then behind. In me these muscles and the superficial ones just inside the anus and above were not working in synergy anymore. Now when I pinch the penis those muscles move like a wave (though that hardly worked at all when everything was tense). I still have tension often at the red circle which stops the wave dead. Also for me sometimes those muscles can’t move quickly with dexterity like they should sometimes they can now and that’s when everything feels its best. These are the muscles that the aneros helix and becoming mindful will fix. These muscles seem to cause the superficial ones around the abdomen to misbehave probably because of the PC sling muscles that interconnects the whole lot. As I released these I started feeling tension that I didn’t know I had behind the pubic bone. I played with that for ages trying to make it relax. I still have to play with it often. I hope in time to re-train everything.
Breathing. I have to make sure that I breathe properly. Diaphragm breathing must become a way of life again. I’m still learning this and if I get stressed low and behold all the pelvic muscles in me tighten up really quickly again. Some people carry stress in their shoulders some in their back some lucky guys like us seem to carry it in our pelvis. YAY for us – not.

If you watch a child breathe or even your friends who look healthy and relaxed notice their stomachs puff up all happy and puff down again. This healthy breathing gently tenses the pelvic floor then releases it. It keeps the whole thing harmonious. I had become a stressed chess breather. I’ve had to re-learn and become mindful everyday about abdomen breathing again. This is whole topic in itself and I would suggest you google breathing properly yoga magazines and stuff will talk about his heaps.

Anyway I’ll be hanging around for a while to answer question. I just started taking magnesium yesterday. The bottle at the supermarket said it relaxes muscles so I thought why not? For all of your information I’ve taken no supplement and eat a pretty average western diet to accomplish this. I'd also recommend good mayo facial massages from a professional and time in a sauna. Ideally before the massage. Although honestly the work lies with you and getting your nervous system working for you again.


Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 19, 2013, 06:34:44 PM
Oh here are the things that I roll around on all the time. The wooden block is there so that I can put the ball on top of it when I'm massaging my psoas and want to get deeper.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/7990481/photo.JPG
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 19, 2013, 06:36:51 PM
Oh Bongo, my anus was completely numb too. In fact it was just very uncomfortable having that up there. Most men say that there g-spot is triggered up there. mine was numb. I sometimes get pleasure feeling now while it's up there.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: lostmojo on September 20, 2013, 02:11:04 AM
Ralding that's very encouraging to hear that you were numb generally and yet are finding a way out of it, thanks for sharing. I know I have very tight muscles in general so it's worth exploring your suggestions, I already have a foam roller and I have ordered a massage ball. On the positive side it will cost very little money to try out your strategy unlike numerous other things I have tried!

It's definitely not as sensitive as it used to be but to be perfectly honest I used to be a premature ejaculator. I would just feel waaaaay too much sensation and would often cum on contact with a female wet spot :) much to my girlfriend of the times dismay and my embarrassment. Once full numbness and desensitization set in I could go for as long as I wanted and then I would cum and feel absolutely nothing.

That is curious as I am the exact opposite. I was not a premature ejaculator when I could feel more than I do now. Now that I have almost complete sexual numbness I have very little control and strangely the less pleasurable the sexual position is the more likely I am to ejaculate. That is, a sexual position that barely tickles my penis is completely unmanageable whereas a position that feels "tight" gives me some limited control, how weird is that?
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on September 20, 2013, 01:51:00 PM
Ralding - thank you for your post. At least one other person has posted about muscle tension in the past. I even bought a foam roller. But I didn't use it for too long.

I believe this could be the root cause of my problem. I think I had prostatitis way back when, and I may have begun clenching my muscles in an effort to prevent leaking or dribbling urine.

Here's my main question for now: How long did you do the relaxation exercises before you saw improvement to your current level of 5/10?
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on September 20, 2013, 03:52:15 PM
Ralding, you've posted some really fantastic information there and when I get the chance I'm going to have a proper go at all this.

The day before my problems started, I masturbated in the shower but rather than stand like I usually do, I was sitting in the corner of the shower with my back resting on the walls with my feet on the floor, so all the pressure of my body was on my ass. I think it may have been the only time I've ever done this - do you think this pose could be at all related to the on set of my problems?? I recall slight numbness or tingling in my ass from sitting in this position while masturbating but once it became uncomfortable I stood up, finished showering and went to bed... Could I have caused some complications do you think ??? Sorry about coming across so scatter brained but I'm as excited now as I ever have been !!! It seems this could be a missing piece of the puzzle for me !
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 25, 2013, 05:45:07 PM
Ralding - thank you for your post. At least one other person has posted about muscle tension in the past. I even bought a foam roller. But I didn't use it for too long.

I believe this could be the root cause of my problem. I think I had prostatitis way back when, and I may have begun clenching my muscles in an effort to prevent leaking or dribbling urine.

Here's my main question for now: How long did you do the relaxation exercises before you saw improvement to your current level of 5/10?

I've been working at everything for about a month. I very quickly came to realise that my layers of tension were exactly that layers upon layers and I've been peeling back the onion so to speak. I really am convinced guys that this is the problem for like 99% of you it's not a neurotransmitter issue. I've had another couple of revelations today which I'm going to post below.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 25, 2013, 05:46:55 PM
Ralding, you've posted some really fantastic information there and when I get the chance I'm going to have a proper go at all this.

The day before my problems started, I masturbated in the shower but rather than stand like I usually do, I was sitting in the corner of the shower with my back resting on the walls with my feet on the floor, so all the pressure of my body was on my ass. I think it may have been the only time I've ever done this - do you think this pose could be at all related to the on set of my problems?? I recall slight numbness or tingling in my ass from sitting in this position while masturbating but once it became uncomfortable I stood up, finished showering and went to bed... Could I have caused some complications do you think ??? Sorry about coming across so scatter brained but I'm as excited now as I ever have been !!! It seems this could be a missing piece of the puzzle for me !

Yes this could absolutely be part of the problem. You could quite easily have strained a muscle and it's now in a constant state of spasm. This spasm then could have a follow on affect on other muscles in your body.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 25, 2013, 06:00:43 PM
So I've been doing more research and exercises and just generally palpating and probing the beejesus out of myself. Yesterday my orgasms went backwards a bit but I realised that I was carrying a bit more tension again. Today however after doing more trigger point release and doing some new exercises which I found on this brilliant website yesterday my orgasms are back feeling good again. It's almost a strange feeling to feel the muscles all moving without tension again. It's kind of liberating like a weight off my shoulders. Also I forgot orgasms actually not only feel good but when the ejaculate comes out it feels warm as it moves through your body! that's how numb I was I couldn't even feel it's warmth.

So anyway I've found that my glutes were a massive issue for me but not only that I think I've found the big culprits in my body. The Rectus Abdominus trigger points I had huge ones. releasing these and doing the exercises on the website below that I'm about to link made me actually feel my entire pelvic floor relax more and I also felt tension release inside and around my prostate and pubic bone. I've also been reading up on Bulbospongiosus and Ischiocavernosus and Perineum trigger points. which can be palpated externally through your penis. Mine was actually quite tense around there too. The real killer is I had new I was a little tense but it wasn't causing pain so I could go about my day normally and think not much was wrong. I know for a fact now that this low level tension through your muscles is NOT normal and causes issues.

The exercises on the website below are SOO good I can't recommend them enough. So hit those trigger points guys and start learning to breathe and release that pelvic floor and pay attention to all those muscles from the lower back, abdomen internal around the prostate the PC muscle and even the ones in your penis itself. I really believe you'll need to take 30 minutes a day and really spend time on your body and use you intuition and follow the tension out. Trigger points can keep coming back too so adjust your stess and lifestyle and posture etc so you're not bringing them back so quickly. In fact just become more aware of your mind and your body throughout the day keep an eye on that. This could take 6 months for some of you but I'm certain it can be reversed.

http://www.pelvicphysiotherapy.com/
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 25, 2013, 10:00:55 PM
Oh and one more extremely important muscle which will totally contribute to diminished orgasm. It's a bitch to isolate stretch and get to but it's made a big difference for me too. The Obturator Internus muscle which moves through your hip and attaches to your penis muscles and your abductor magnus in your thighs. Ok so this one was in a constant state of contraction for me. And if I pulled the tip of my penis I could actually feel that it was in spasm feels like a spasm on either side of your butthole inside your pelvic. try to find ways to contract isolate and stretch this muscles (the exercises in my above post will also help relax this muscle)

Here's the muscle, I think this is one of the holy grail muscles causing issues.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obturator_internus_muscle

It also has an interesting nerve running through it which starts way up in your abdomen and moves all the way down through yor pelvis and into you thighs! I'll bet my arse that with the constant spasm this nerve is compressed and can't fire orgasm pleasure signals correctly to the rest of your pelvis. This is why we feel the build up but not the explosive orgasm. This muscle and nerve are supposed to contract together and cause a symphony of pleasure contractions instead all you get is a blocked wall of spasm which stopes the orgasm. You can read about it here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obturator_nerve

Once you've got all the muscles relaxed and under control of your nervous system again you'll need to start isolating and strengthening them to get your orgasms powerful again.

Well I really think this information will help some people. I truly hope it does. This is all I know and I've shared everything that I can think of to try and help. good luck peeps!
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on September 26, 2013, 07:48:16 AM
Ralding, I really appreciate the information. I will read through it all again, and see if I can start doing daily stretching and relaxing.

Please let us know if you think of anything else that helped.

And let us know if your improvement persists.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: andrew_b on September 26, 2013, 07:57:26 PM
I think you've nailed it Ralding, fantastic work mate! I've suspected for years that this was the most likely main cause but didn't really know how to go about addressing it. You've done great research here and shown us the way forward. Its a bizarre phenomenon in many ways because you can have all these tight muscle groups in your pelvis and not really be aware of it, plus the fact that they're hard to reach or even be aware of. Time for me to get the aneros massager and a small roller and get down to it.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 26, 2013, 09:50:09 PM
Ralding, I really appreciate the information. I will read through it all again, and see if I can start doing daily stretching and relaxing.

Please let us know if you think of anything else that helped.

And let us know if your improvement persists.

Ok yep this is definitely it. I just laid down in bed spent time relaxing the muscles and doing those breathing exercises and strengthening exercises in the above post (I can contract and releax everything very quickly now) grabbed the phone watched some porn and had the most mind bending orgasm it made me feel like i was blacking out for a few seconds. My penis is fully sensitive again. Not only that as I feel orgasm approaching I can do the breathing exercises and relax the abdominal down into my pelvis now and slow the approach of orgasm AND my erection is hard as a rock now too like when I was 18. It's crazy. Armed with this knowledge I reckon I can keep my orgasms and erections strong into old age. I'm ecstatic to say the least. I wanna thank everybody who contributed to this forum and the other forum you gave me so many clues so that I could research this bloody depressing issue. I'd also like to thank Google it's just so bloody handy. If this was the 80's i'd have been screwed.

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on September 26, 2013, 09:55:14 PM
Don't for get the soft ball you're going to need it and it's cheap as chips to buy. Also use your hands and really explore your upper and lower abdominals the more I hit my trigger points in there and relax the better everything gets.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: bongo on October 01, 2013, 12:06:53 PM
hi i havnt really had time to look at all the links youve put as its all a big secret and my partner knows nothing about my condition so i dont get a lot of time on here , i can clentch my buttocks and stop myself urinating but how do i go about relaxing these muscles that i cant see or feel , will i understand these links or will it be like these chakra mumbo jumbo codswallop  theories ? Sorry to ask before ive looked and   tried just wondering if ive got to imagine my inner muscles or whether most are massaged from the outside ? [will my beer belly be an hindrance] and could it be possible to fix these muscles  after 33 years .I definitely believe youve found  the cause though thanks in advance ..
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on October 03, 2013, 10:24:24 AM
By way of update, I've started doing some yoga most nights. Some of the poses stretch and open the hips, so I see how that could help.

I've tried palpating my belly area. Last night I may finally have found a tense area.

I'm also doing the exercise for anterior pelvic tilt, and several other exercises.

Bottom line: I'm going to give this a try. I hope it can help.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: AnotherEAguy on October 05, 2013, 07:41:27 AM
I'm going to give Ralding's approach a try too: my symptoms are quite similar to his, and there's a few other additional symptoms I have that make sense in light of what he's discovered: urinary urgency, starting/stopping, weak control over the stream (more of a spray than a stream, i usually have to clean up around the bowl afterwards). Also my legs "fall asleep" within a minute of so of sitting cross-legged and sometimes when just sitting normally - I had assumed this just meant I had poor blood circulation, but it makes more sense that my piriformis has been pinching my sciatic nerve. Intuitively, your approach just seems right, Ralding, and while I don't usually chase a lot of the answers around here I'm going to give this one a good college try: I've already bought an Aneros Helix Classic, and my Body Back Buddy and TP Therapy Hip & Lower Back kit are in the mail, I'm pretty excited to get started. A few things I'm not clear on though: How do I differentiate between knowing if I have 'tenderness' in an area (like Psoas) vs the kind of pain you might expect from jabbing your fingers deep into your pelvic abdomen? I had my wife poke herself around the Psoas similar to how I was doing and she did seem to have less tenderness than me (she's my baseline for what "normal" should feel like). I'm just trying to get a gauge for understanding whether that muscle (or others) are actually bound up or not. My inner thigh definitely is, I know that. It's so tender that I don't even know how I'm going to work on it without extreme pain. As far as the Aneros, I tried it out last night. Like many on here, I have very little sexual sensation in the pelvic area, and this includes the perineum and anus, so the Aneros didn't really feel like much. It went in fairly easily and wasn't uncomfortable to have in (I did 30 min as you suggested), I just wasn't sure what to do at that point, so I just layed there for a while. Should I be squeezing with those muscles, or just diaphramatic breathing or what? Also, any clues on how to release the Obturator internus? I couldn't find much on the web about how to do that. Maybe this?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8VKY5PT0c8
Anyway, I'll be posting updates to my own progress as well. Please check in from time to time Ralding, we really need you!
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on October 05, 2013, 03:41:17 PM
Yes, Ralding, please stay with us. I would appreciate reading your answers to the above questions too.

Thank you!
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: TriumphForks on October 07, 2013, 05:42:52 PM
Holy shit Ralding. My symptoms match yours exactly.
I will hang onto your every word and see if this works.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 08, 2013, 03:09:13 AM
hi i havnt really had time to look at all the links youve put as its all a big secret and my partner knows nothing about my condition so i dont get a lot of time on here , i can clentch my buttocks and stop myself urinating but how do i go about relaxing these muscles that i cant see or feel , will i understand these links or will it be like these chakra mumbo jumbo codswallop  theories ? Sorry to ask before ive looked and   tried just wondering if ive got to imagine my inner muscles or whether most are massaged from the outside ? [will my beer belly be an hindrance] and could it be possible to fix these muscles  after 33 years .I definitely believe youve found  the cause though thanks in advance ..

Umm no there isn't any chakra stuff.... It's all basically about physical therapy. I can only do so much mate you're going to have to do some investigating yourself.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 08, 2013, 03:11:42 AM
By way of update, I've started doing some yoga most nights. Some of the poses stretch and open the hips, so I see how that could help.

I've tried palpating my belly area. Last night I may finally have found a tense area.

I'm also doing the exercise for anterior pelvic tilt, and several other exercises.

Bottom line: I'm going to give this a try. I hope it can help.

Everybody is going to have different imbalances in the musculature. But I would imagine there will be common threads between all of us. So I'm still makeing good progress but I do have to keep mindful during the day to breathe properly and sit properly and keep things relaxed. Otherwise my body wants to tighten up again. I've done physical therapy before and I know that eventually my body will adjust and learn the new way of doing things.

 
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 08, 2013, 03:17:13 AM
I'm going to give Ralding's approach a try too: my symptoms are quite similar to his, and there's a few other additional symptoms I have that make sense in light of what he's discovered: urinary urgency, starting/stopping, weak control over the stream (more of a spray than a stream, i usually have to clean up around the bowl afterwards). Also my legs "fall asleep" within a minute of so of sitting cross-legged and sometimes when just sitting normally - I had assumed this just meant I had poor blood circulation, but it makes more sense that my piriformis has been pinching my sciatic nerve. Intuitively, your approach just seems right, Ralding, and while I don't usually chase a lot of the answers around here I'm going to give this one a good college try: I've already bought an Aneros Helix Classic, and my Body Back Buddy and TP Therapy Hip & Lower Back kit are in the mail, I'm pretty excited to get started. A few things I'm not clear on though: How do I differentiate between knowing if I have 'tenderness' in an area (like Psoas) vs the kind of pain you might expect from jabbing your fingers deep into your pelvic abdomen? I had my wife poke herself around the Psoas similar to how I was doing and she did seem to have less tenderness than me (she's my baseline for what "normal" should feel like). I'm just trying to get a gauge for understanding whether that muscle (or others) are actually bound up or not. My inner thigh definitely is, I know that. It's so tender that I don't even know how I'm going to work on it without extreme pain. As far as the Aneros, I tried it out last night. Like many on here, I have very little sexual sensation in the pelvic area, and this includes the perineum and anus, so the Aneros didn't really feel like much. It went in fairly easily and wasn't uncomfortable to have in (I did 30 min as you suggested), I just wasn't sure what to do at that point, so I just layed there for a while. Should I be squeezing with those muscles, or just diaphramatic breathing or what? Also, any clues on how to release the Obturator internus? I couldn't find much on the web about how to do that. Maybe this?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8VKY5PT0c8
Anyway, I'll be posting updates to my own progress as well. Please check in from time to time Ralding, we really need you!

I had the exact same issues with urine urgency and weak control over stream. As the muscles around the pubic bone etc relax you will get a better stream and when you push the urine out of your bladder you feel the muscles thar runs down your abdomincal accross the pubis and into your penis flex with greater range and movment. You will basically squirt the urine out like you used to. This is part of what clued me in to what was goind on. I'm alway keeping note of that ares of my body to see if it's holding tension.

The aneros is a funny thing but basically do not masturbate while you've got it up there it will make things worse for us. You just want to do deep diaphram breathing. nothings too forced and work on feeling your inner pelvis muscles. you'll eventually start to feel it shift and change especially if you're working trigger points and streatching etc. If your legs go to sleep while you sit cross legged you've definitely got loads of tension in your hip flexors and your glutes are most likely weak and not firing properly. The gluts when strong and firing properly pull the inner pelcis muscles back and lengthen them, i found a website of a guy who had similar problems and fixed his issues and he strongly recommended doing squats. I've been doing them for about a week now and they're making a massive difference.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 08, 2013, 03:38:19 AM
Look guys it's going to be a journey for you and you're going to have to get intimate with the muscles in your pelvis and hips and buttocks. when I say intimate just take time to feel stretch strengthen and lengthen everything a little everyday. With time you'll start to see muscles shift and change. When it first starts correcting everything starts going a bit crazy muscles start contracting  loosening all over the place. This is good don't be alarmed once things start shifting your on the right path. So what I have found is for me I have a tight groin area and extremely weak (but however heavily contracted gluteus muscles) Because they are contracted all the time they aren't firing properly which is causing the rest of my body to tighten and adjust to compensate to probably make up for my weak core. Start doing squats you can google this. Not with weights!! and google squats with good form. You want to make the glutes fire properly again and adress imbalances. After doing some squats do some stretches of your squats and piriformis (warm up gently first guys and take it easy you cant rush things and you don't want injuries) after doing this for a bit (with correct technique and form) I then moved onto these ones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsOTs4UkG0M

They're extremely good but very hard and I had massive weaknesses in my glutes. for some reason doing lots of squats with good technique frees up the lower back and pelvis. Anyway you start working these big muscles the other muscles in the pelvis are going to start to shift and change. when you get into bed at night after exercising lay on your back with your legs up and just breathe and feel all the muscles bring your mind to them and focus on them feel for tension. you'll start to find imbalances.

Anyway with all the information I posted above you should be able to piece together your own separate journeys. When my stuff started shifting and realigning I was getting weird pains in my legs and feet etc. But every day is an improvement. I simply cannot get over the errections and ease of arousal i'm having now too.


So yeah for the record guys I'm still extremely confident this is what is going on for you. We in the west have extremely tight hip flexors and weak glutes its very common and our imbalances ended up in our pelvis and lower abdominal muscles and this in time just made our orgasms weak just like our glutes are weak and our hamstrings are tight etc etc.

Also things might get worse before they get better. That's a normal part of rehabilitation of muscles they go a bit crazy as they start working again. It'll probably be two steps forward one step back for a while but you'll get there.

I just don't know what else to say. I feel like the obstruatror internus muscles is a bitch to stretch but if you start doing everything else and working on your glutes which are connected it'll give way in time and you'll be able to release it. just start waking the pelvis area up with exercise be gentle breathe be patient focus your mind slowly around the pelvis and analyse it carefully so you can feel out your tightness. I'm rambling. But I think it's good for you guys to hear me say this in a million ways so at least some little bit of information I say will come through and give you the clue or spur you on in the right way.

Once again I'm 32 and not too out of shape. If your body is very out of shape and your very stiff GO SLOW get things happening slowly take a little time every day. Don't injure yourselves. I'll keep checking in every once and a while.

As for the Aneros why its so good is cause when it's in you it contacts muscles that you never get to feel properly so you can then get your minds focus on them. It also massages the prostate which is good for it cause its surrounded in muscle. Do they Aneros every few days or once a week. And focus on everything else I've provided. In fact aneros everyday is probably too much.


I'll keep popping in to see how you're going and I'll keep trying to help. I'd love to hear if yo guys make some progress.

Oh yeah again once you get everything going you shouldn't need to be doing reverse kegels too much. I've found that I don't do those anymore because they make it hard to cum. I think if you do everything else that reverse kegels anret the best thing. The lengthen th PC muscle too much. At the start though cause you're so tight there you just need to do them and kegels and stretches and anything you can try to get the muscles to open and lengthen again. when they do it'll be brief and theyll wanna go straight back to being tight again. Next day do it all again. keep focues and they'll open up for longer and longer.


Hope this helps.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 08, 2013, 03:48:28 AM
Oh another thing. When laying in bed at night take some time with your knees up (feet near your buttocks) palpate for trigger points in your abs and psoas explore your body. Then relax breathe deeply and calmly and use your mind and focus it on a particular muscles that you think is tight. Just keep breathing and watching that muscles breathe deeply but dont try to force it to relax with the breathe too much you can try but it often doesn't work. I find often that if you just lay there breathing and watching the muscles that's tight with your minds and breathing into it not forcefully they often just magically release. It's like your nervous system goes Oh right that muscles should be like that and woop releases it. at the start I would wake up and they'd be tight again. But now I wake up and they've stayed relaxed.

Get a nice 30 minute routine that you can do each day. some stretches some trigger points and some strengthening exercies. The internet will provide information for good form with exercises. etc. Get this routine sorted so you can do it often then after some time evaluate how it's all going and adjust it accordingly.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Kstat on October 08, 2013, 08:28:59 PM
I'd really like to try this and see what happens. I do tend to get stressed out fairly easily, and although I don't always notice it I do think my pelvis muscles are tensed up sometimes because of it. I'm female and think I have the female equivalent of EA. Would that affect any of your advice, Ralding?

Thank you for the in depth explanations, btw. Those will be very helpful.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Ralding on October 09, 2013, 04:46:09 AM
I'd really like to try this and see what happens. I do tend to get stressed out fairly easily, and although I don't always notice it I do think my pelvis muscles are tensed up sometimes because of it. I'm female and think I have the female equivalent of EA. Would that affect any of your advice, Ralding?

Thank you for the in depth explanations, btw. Those will be very helpful.

No I believe everything will be along the same lines and your orgasm will be affected in just the same way. You won't need the aneros. You have the advantage of being able to palpate and massage muscles through your vagina I believe pyscial therapists call it inter vaginal manipulation. There is a lot of information on the internet regarding pelvic floor dysfunction that prescribes exactly that. You can also massage the perineum and equivalent of the male muscles. They're similar from what I've seen.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Bill on October 14, 2013, 09:20:32 PM
Ralding--

First off, I'd just like to thank you (plus the folks who started this website) for all the info you've posted. For a couple years now, I've sort of flirted with the basic approach you've outlined in so much detail. I've read up on pelvic floor tension (Amy Stein's book, the Wise book, etc.), visited many of the websites you mention, and I even have an Aneros buried deep in my desk somewhere (alas, I apparently haven't spent enough time with it buried in my ass). Just a few weeks ago, I bought a book about the psoas muscle. Bottom line, it's almost uncanny how similar my journey through these sources has been to yours. While during the past couple years I've certainly done some relaxation/stretching exercises and, overall, tried to awaken an increased awareness of pelvic muscles (plus all the related and interconnected muscles you mention), my fidelity to this approach has unfortunately been more theoretical than practical. I've been reading a lot about all this stuff rather than doing the actual work. Why? Well, deep down I think I doubted whether awakening an increased awareness of various muscles and thereby relaxing them would really address my issue. Seeing your detailed posts convinces me that this is the right approach, however, so I am going to embark upon a committed effort to work on this. So, thank you.

Second: I am so excited after finding this site in general and reading your (Ralding's) posts in particular that I am contributing these words of my own far too hastily. I haven't even fully gone through all the info you've provided, much less familiarized myself with this site overall. So, I'm sure there's a much better section where I should be sharing what follows, but I'll offer it here mainly because I'm convinced that the basic cause of my issue is chronic pelvic tension, and that the solution is some version of the kind of practices Ralding describes.

Until I found this EA site (and related discussion forums) a week or so ago, I never considered that my issue was EA. Indeed, my experiences do not exactly match any of the others I've read about thus far, but I still think I'm dealing with the same basic phenomenon many of you are. Here's the deal, and I'll try to be as brief as possible: I am 37 years old, and for the entirety of my sexual life I have thought that for some reason or other I do not experience the "normal" sensation during sexual stimulation and orgasm. When I first started masturbating as a kid, I did so lying on my stomach and dry humping a pillow, and honestly I didn't even realize that what I was doing was masturbating, exactly. More than anything, I was tensing my PC muscles with each thrust, and squeezing my anus. Gradually, a sensation started to build that was sort of like the feeling of having a full bladder or bowels, a kind of slight itching or burning feeling that wasn't necessarily unpleasant, but wasn't overtly pleasant either (the best analogy I can come up with is the feeling of pressing on a sore muscle). Eventually this feeling grew extremely intense for a few seconds. Basically, I was orgasming, but I didn't even realize that's what I was doing (not until later on when I started to notice that ejaculate was actually coming out of my penis). Basically, masturbating in this way allowed me to relieve sexual tension, but the sensations I experienced were not very pleasurable per se. Long story shorter: eventually I tried masturbating in the more traditional manner, and the very first time I did this it felt incredible: a kind of tingling, warm sensation that I instantly knew was the "normal" feeling of sexual pleasure. However, just before I reached orgasm, the other feeling returned (the itching/burning), and the orgasm itself felt like that, rather than being a more intensified version of the tingling/warm feeling. I was able to experience the genuinely pleasurable sensation on maybe a handful of occasions (never during orgasm, though), but basically the other less pleasurable feeling became my default, "normal" experience, and it continues to be so to this day (and it has now been many, many years since I have really felt the deeply pleasurable sensation: basically not since I was a little kid). In retrospect, I think that on those few occasions that I was able to feel real pleasure all those years ago, I was masturbating in such a way that I wasn't habitually tensing my pelvic muscles during the process. Over the years, though, the clenching of the pelvic muscles during sex became so habitual that I wasn't even aware of it until recently! Basically, my PC muscles involuntarily contract practically whenever I touch my penis. They contract and then quickly relax -- it's like I'm constantly doing involuntary kegels during sexual stimulation! In the past couple years I have been becoming more and more aware of this process, and I try to relax as best I can, but thus far the sensation I experience is still not the one I am hoping for. The maddening thing about all this for me has always been that on the surface everything is normal: my erections, my ability to have sex with my partner and ostensibly have a "normal," mutually satisfying experience. And it IS satisfying to a certain extent, because after all these years I've learned, I think, to associate the burning/itching sensation with the relief of sexual tension.

Anyway, the bottom line is that what's different for me compared to all the EA accounts I've thus far read is that it's not like I just feel nothing. But basically I am not feeling an overtly pleasurable sensation. My intuition tells me that I have the exact same thing going on as you, Ralding, but for me it started at the very dawn of my sexual experiences, so perhaps it is even more extreme, and instead of just feeling nothing (a zero), I feel muscle tension (say, a -5) and associate that with the sensation of sexual pleasure. The truth is that deep down I think I gave up many years ago on ever figuring this situation out or doing anything about it. But I am CONVINCED that it is an issue of muscle tightness/control. There just isn't any other explanation. If it was prostate or neurological or whatever, I would certainly have other symptoms by now.

I have remained on the brink of doing anything about this because it seemed so daunting. How locate all these muscles (especially the internal ones that are hard to reach)? But Ralding, your accounts of all this, and the way you've managed to synthesize a lot of the same sources I've been bouncing around between for the past two years, gives me a helpful roadmap.

Apologies for the long message and, again, for the fact that I am posting this without adequately familiarizing myself with the material on this site. I look forward to reading a ton on here in the near future (and to embarking on the path that Ralding describes!).  

Bill

PS -- There's much I left out in terms of other little clues that tell me my issue involves the pelvic and surrounding muscles, but one thing is that my legs fall asleep ridiculously easy, and for a long time I've suffered from what I guess would be considered a mild form of irritable bowel syndrome. I honestly think that the root of this whole muscle tension for me may derive from very early anxiety as a kid about using the restroom and therefore holding it in, etc., etc.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: asvidesh on October 29, 2013, 08:00:23 AM
Thanks Ralding for giving us hope, though many, myself included, have not had a normal orgasm in decades.

I know that a few people have sought medical help regarding this, but have not got a solution. The thought strikes me - what if this new clue is disclosed to the docs, would they be in a better position to advise how to release / untense these nerves ?

PS : I too have this issue of legs falling asleep.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on October 29, 2013, 10:11:06 AM
I have been doing some of the exercises and yoga. Just started a new topic under General Discussion about it. Ralding, I'd welcome your input.

Anyone else who's been trying it, please also post about how you're doing.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: jrsousa2 on December 13, 2013, 09:18:32 AM
I doubt this.

I think the body has to solve the problem on its own.
I don't buy this "body got used to a tense state."

I think the solution has to be through chemicals that restore our
bodily equilibrium.

I was having grat orgasms and incredible libido on HCG, but after it
wears off, I ended up worse than I was previously.

I hope there might be something whose effects are constant.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: CanadianGuy on January 18, 2014, 07:47:36 PM
Hey Everyone,

I've been following this particular thread for a while now with excitement and bought my own tennis and softball and roller.  I've started doing exercises and stuff as well but I'm surprised nobody is responding with success stories.  There's tons of people on here, is everyone just waiting for someone else to try all of this and report back?  Perhaps could we get a "show of hands" how many people are following Raldings advice, how long they've been doing it, and any improvements, if any?

To start with I've been doing strengthening exercises for a few weeks but only just bought roller balls etc today.  I also haven't received my Aneros in the mail yet so haven't started on that treatment.  At this point I've had no improvement but wasn't really expecting any until I at least started on the balls and rollers.

Hope to hear from some of you out there.  I too believe this is a very good path to follow as I saw a pelvic floor specialist years ago and she told me that my entire system down there was out of whack and was shocked that I was simply not able to relax my sphincter muscles while doing keegles.  Anyways, long story short, I completely ignored her advice as I'm a very fit individual and continued on my way.  Reading this is making it allll come back to me and thinking this could be a huge part of my EA.

Hope to hear from you all on your progress.  And if you're just waiting to hear from us suck it up and spend $10 on some balls and get started!  : )

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Dante55 on May 12, 2014, 02:43:21 PM
Just started this stuff and so far so good

I've had anterior pelvic tilt forever always really really tight hamstrings and hips not opened

Can't believe after all this time it ends up being such a fixable thing

Doing the foam roller, yoga, and exercises to strengthen glutes and open up the hips

I had no idea how well this would work but I pretty much immediately felt like the energy channel opened up from my inner thighs all the way to my feet and then going all the way up to my brain, went from feeling nothing more than a sneeze and minor relief to getting back that warmth and waves going through my body. I also figured there was a good chance it was muscle tension because I would have great normal orgasms only during sleep every now and then and I could just never seem to replicate it conscious. I take it that those deep pelvic floor muscles were able to relax in that state and that's why I was able to get that normal satisfying climax.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Thanksforsharing on May 27, 2014, 08:58:05 AM
Hey!

I'm a woman in my 20´s who had PDOD (Anhedonia orgasm) the last 4 years. Been following this and some other sites for some years now, but never written a comment.

My PDOD stared with my GA and depression. I've tried Wellbutrin, it helped me with my general anhedonia, but not my orgasm. I feel my anxiety is getting much better and general feelings are coming back, so I stopped the medicine, all clean now.

I've always thought that my PDOD where due dopamin trouble in my brain. But now that I can feel laughter and other feelings dopamin gives me, it has to be something else? Cause my orgasm is like less than a sneeze.. I can feel good things right before the orgasm, but during, there is like nothing... just muscles contraction and other physical symptoms, never psychologic. I'm also "cumming" real quickly and my feets "falls asleep" very often during any normal position in generally.

I know that most of you in here are guys! But I hope and think that there must be possible for a womans muscle to tens up and make the same "mistake" as mans body? What do you think, Ralding?

My anxiety is making me really tense... my throat muscles are always tight when i get stressed out, and i get stressed out about literally nothing.. still I'm a student. So are my neck... so maybe my pelvic floor does the same? without me even notice? I've also been ha breast breather for the last 4 years... I'm now trying to breath with my stomach.

The problem is that I don't have a prostata.. It's really frustrating that there is so few females with this problem! Or in generally.. especially doctors' knowledge about this subject!

Thanks for giving hope anyways, Ralding.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: sensation on May 29, 2014, 03:44:44 AM
Hey!

I'm a woman in my 20´s who had PDOD (Anhedonia orgasm) the last 4 years. Been following this and some other sites for some years now, but never written a comment.

My PDOD stared with my GA and depression. I've tried Wellbutrin, it helped me with my general anhedonia, but not my orgasm. I feel my anxiety is getting much better and general feelings are coming back, so I stopped the medicine, all clean now.

I've always thought that my PDOD where due dopamin trouble in my brain. But now that I can feel laughter and other feelings dopamin gives me, it has to be something else? Cause my orgasm is like less than a sneeze.. I can feel good things right before the orgasm, but during, there is like nothing... just muscles contraction and other physical symptoms, never psychologic. I'm also "cumming" real quickly and my feets "falls asleep" very often during any normal position in generally.

I know that most of you in here are guys! But I hope and think that there must be possible for a womans muscle to tens up and make the same "mistake" as mans body? What do you think, Ralding?

My anxiety is making me really tense... my throat muscles are always tight when i get stressed out, and i get stressed out about literally nothing.. still I'm a student. So are my neck... so maybe my pelvic floor does the same? without me even notice? I've also been ha breast breather for the last 4 years... I'm now trying to breath with my stomach.

The problem is that I don't have a prostata.. It's really frustrating that there is so few females with this problem! Or in generally.. especially doctors' knowledge about this subject!

Thanks for giving hope anyways, Ralding.


Hi Stensrud,

I find your case very interesting. First, because you're a woman and no, you don't have a prostate, but you should also feel pleasant sensations before orgasm (every time your erogenous zones are stimulated), not only during orgasm. I think orgasm is just like the pleasant sensations of stimulation, but much more intense. I can also feel the muscle contractions, my heart racing faster, etc., but almost no sexual pleasure.

This is also interesting because I'm a man, and erogenous zones on men are usually narrowed down to the genital area, but I could feel pleasure on other areas of my body (nipples, for instance) when I was OK 6 years ago. Women usually have erogenous zones spread over their bodies. I also think if pudental nerve or pelvic floor were the causes for our problem, why would that nerve affect what we can feel on our nipples, necks, etc?

Just like you, I can laugh and feel mental pleasure with other activities which supposedly dopamine is responsible for. So I also wonder whether it is something else but dopamine, or at least not only related to dopamine.

If your feet go numb (I guess that's what you mean by "fall asleep") very often, I would suggest you go visit your doctor and tell them about it. It may or may not be related to the sexual problem, but I think it is important to issue that problem of numb limbs itself, and the anxiety too.

I think also you're going in the right direction, trying to learn how to breathe better and finding ways to relax. Improving general health is always positive, whether we can find a solution to this problem or not. Just don't despair, and search for ways to get better generally (maybe exercising, maybe finding activities that make you happy...).

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: needhelpage31 on May 29, 2014, 07:01:55 PM
Dante55 - how quickly did you begin to feel improvement? How close to "normal" are you now? (Normal being a 10 on a 1-10 scale?)

And to the woman who posted, I recall a different woman who posted here years ago. I believe she found that reverse kegels helped her.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Dante55 on May 30, 2014, 02:21:02 PM
I only started this 15 days ago

I have been incredibly diligent with this stuff

I am not back to normal yet but I know for an absolute fact this is what the issue is

I have been incredibly tight for as long as I can remember and had an anterior pelvic tilt

Trigger points, posture, correct breathing, pelvic floor relaxation are all the key

The more I am able to release the pelvic floor during stimulation the stronger the orgasm more pleasurable build up as well

My problem was a mix between numb zero sensation ejaculations to sometimes painful ejaculations

I think actually I just came to realize over time that ejaculation would hurt if I maintained stimulation during orgasm so I just got into the habit of going still inside a girl or stopping manual stimulation and those ejaculations were all without pleasure, if I keep thrusting as orgasm approaches like you're meant to it is PAINFUL

And I'm not saying the tip of my penis gets sensitive after orgasm like a lot of normal guys, I'm saying the pain prevented orgasm from taking place

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: xduskyx99 on May 30, 2014, 03:58:10 PM
I want to try this but am unsure where to start. Could someone give a detailed routine of what exercises to do on a daily basis and for how long?
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: xduskyx99 on May 30, 2014, 04:28:08 PM
I just tried masturbating lying down with my knees up and breathing into my stomach. In the first few minutes I felt some deep pressure at the base of my penis, almost behind it inside my body. For the first time it felt like my penis was actually attached to my body. Also, when I ejaculated the contractions continued for 30 seconds whereas they're usually almost non-existent. No difference in pleasure though, which was nil. However, I wonder if an extremely tense pelvic floor is blocking the pleasure signals from being transmitted.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Dante55 on May 30, 2014, 08:28:49 PM
Go through everything ralding posted

Figure out something that you can sustain on a daily basis

Foam roll everyday, it sucks, it hurts, but it feels good after, you will need a ball for certain muscles

Do yoga 2-3 times a week and bust ass trying to get better and better at it instead of showing up and going through the motions, this sucks too but it gets easier

Posture correction exercises to strengthen certain muscles are needed just as much as the myofascial release from rolling and the stretching from yoga, look up Neanderthal no more part 4, this program is really good

Get into a habit of syncing up your breathing with your pelvic floor

As you breathe in you want to be relaxing floor(a reverse kegel basically)

Take 15 minutes a day and do constructive rest pose
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: dark023 on October 29, 2014, 07:47:51 AM
Do you think this would be any good?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pocket-Physio-trigger-tissue-massage/dp/B007FAZ65W/ref=pd_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=19ZK9RG0JS0EZBQS1R4K
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on May 23, 2015, 03:25:50 PM
Hi everyone,

Just want to say I've been away for a good while. I intended to really have a go at solving this problem in February but external pressures took their toll, and I went back to routinely masturbating which got me into a bit of a slump mentally. The reason I abstain from sex is because it gives me the focus to really work on the EA compared to when I masturbate routinely, I tend to put these things off. It's taken quite a bit of courage to focus on this again as I don't really want to spend time playing around with my anus and that general area, but it seems I have no option if I want to get better.

I can say I have kept up with the psoas stretching, I feel though the real problem area is around the anus and such like. For years I've been having problems sometimes after going to the toilet, where I feel like I need to wipe and wipe to get relief, it's like an irritating itch and there is sometimes a little bleeding from excessive wiping, and sometimes not. I've researched and think it may be hemorrhoids as the symptoms I have coincide with those I find on the net. I'm going to take some over the counter Anusol before visting the GP to see if it takes care of it. I'm hoping I don't have to go to the doctor for this because it's embarrassing.

Looking at the overall picture, hemorrhoids apparently can be caused from a lot of pressure in the lower regions from hard physical activity and the like, this correlates somewhat with the EA, and I think heavy squatting in the gym which I was doing a lot of during the time EA first set in, really contributed to the development of all this. I'm sure of it.

For the first time, following Raldings instruction I used a finger and some lube to feel about down there and everything is extremely tight. The ring of my anus was gripping my finger the whole time, it felt very uncomfortable, the hemorrhoids (if this is what they are) may be causing this somewhat, so until I start treatment for that I'm unable to progress.

Does anyone else have any follow up to this ? I will post again once I really start progressing, and nothing will get in the way of that this time
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: nutbuster on May 25, 2015, 01:47:09 PM
Rich try using my New Technique (see my recent posts) since i think you and i are similar with the anxiety and tensing issue if i remember correctly.  I have had a lot of success and progress lately with my new technique.  It is really encouraging. 

As for your anus you should see a doc for sure if it does not improve.  The anus does need to be tight i am pretty sure, that is just how it works. Although i think it should relax quite a bit during or after masturbation.

I have never had hemmorhoids but i have had occasional itching in the past, probably like a mini-hemmorhoid that goes away quickly.  You definitely do not want to push too hard when pooping.  Take your time on the toilet, as long as you need, and let it slide out on its own.  And do not wipe too much, that is a sure way to irritate your anus.  More wiping is not going to solve the itching, it will only make it worse. and i am sure you know but they sell creams for hemmorhoids, i would try those

Also the squats would definitely not be good in my opinion.  I would stay away from those at least for a long while.  They will surely cause hemmorhoids and possibly worse.  Some gym exercises can be dangerous, you might be healthier in the long run just eating potato chips on your couch instead of hurting yourself while exercising.  All you really need to do to stay fit is some basic pushups or crunches or maybe some running or swimming to stay fit, nothing serious.

Stay hydrated, eat well, get good sleep, and take it easy, live stress free ! 
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on May 25, 2015, 04:55:54 PM
Rich try using my New Technique (see my recent posts) since i think you and i are similar with the anxiety and tensing issue if i remember correctly.  I have had a lot of success and progress lately with my new technique.  It is really encouraging. 

As for your anus you should see a doc for sure if it does not improve.  The anus does need to be tight i am pretty sure, that is just how it works. Although i think it should relax quite a bit during or after masturbation.

I have never had hemmorhoids but i have had occasional itching in the past, probably like a mini-hemmorhoid that goes away quickly.  You definitely do not want to push too hard when pooping.  Take your time on the toilet, as long as you need, and let it slide out on its own.  And do not wipe too much, that is a sure way to irritate your anus.  More wiping is not going to solve the itching, it will only make it worse. and i am sure you know but they sell creams for hemmorhoids, i would try those

Also the squats would definitely not be good in my opinion.  I would stay away from those at least for a long while.  They will surely cause hemmorhoids and possibly worse.  Some gym exercises can be dangerous, you might be healthier in the long run just eating potato chips on your couch instead of hurting yourself while exercising.  All you really need to do to stay fit is some basic pushups or crunches or maybe some running or swimming to stay fit, nothing serious.

Stay hydrated, eat well, get good sleep, and take it easy, live stress free !

Hi nut, thanks for the advice and it's great that you are progressing well. I will check your thread out in more detail.

Right now I'm exercising every other day in the gym and at home. You probably are right not to do any lower body work, the thing is if this happened in 2006, I think any healing that might come naturally would have happened. I'm just trying everything I can, today I went to buy a foam roller and also picked up some probiotic yogurt in the hope it gives my digestive system a little boost.

I've been using the suppositories twice a day, and the cream as well and there seems to be improvement but I'm going to persist until I've used up all of the product before jumping to conclusions.

I used the foam roller today and carried out a lot of the exercises mentioned (upper back, hamstrings, thighs, glutes, lower back abductors) it hurt but I couldn't pin point any really tender areas, this might have something to do with not putting all of the weight on these areas, as I just started I was using a second leg or arm for balance at times. I definitely felt what I assume is a knot under my left buttock, so I just rolled back and forth over it gently. Overall though I felt very little everywhere, it was really quite unremarkable.

I'm training legs in the gym tomorrow, so I'll be doing these exercises : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDv2nDtCn6M as well as the anterior pelvic tilt exercises Ralding posted. I've laid off the kegels for the time being, interestingly though I noticed that continually doing the contract, hold and release I was able to get an erection without any kind of physical stimulation, it took some time and there was some mental work involved and porn, but it worked, although quickly went flaccid without stimulation. I'm not masturbating at the moment, but from experience having done kegels before, it usually results in slightly more pleasurable orgasms that may last slightly longer, but overall has no effect on the numbing occurring in the whole genital area, nothing is moving as Ralding puts it.

I'm going to do leg press, and make a note of what the other machines I use are called, just for reference. I will be using practically no weight on these machines, having only started last week I was going 40kg on the leg press, which is nothing, the aim is to feel the movement and the whole area as much as possible. I'm also keenly aware now that I have some imbalance in the legs, and that my quads are much more developed than my glutes, I had no idea how weak my glutes were until recently. I think this was because I used to train very heavy and I've since learned that when muscles are overloaded the body can recruit other muscles to help aid the movement  which makes perfect sense. I didn't realise just how much the quads were involved in some of these leg exercises I was doing, and of course everything was compounded as I (like many) went from being in a sedentary sitting position at a desk job to being in the gym and suddenly overloading the quads and that whole general backside area which is suppressed the whole time we are sitting down. I didn't even warm up back then. Sorry I'm just rambling a little here, I'm just getting it out of my system I'm sure you know all about this.

One thing I'm really trying to focus on is sensation. I've noticed for a long time that I'm slightly more sensitive at night on the glands, so if I masturbate in the late evening it always seems to be generally better and more satisfying than during the day. I'm just feeling out the area at different times of the day, do you find any correlation between the time of day and gland sensitivity ?

There really is so much information to take in, I feel though physically going at this is the only way i'm going to stay motivated. The last few days having the time to focus on this has made me realise just how much it's holding me back in life. I've never even told my mum about this or any friends, at 29 and no girlfriend people do wonder whether there is something wrong with me
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: nutbuster on May 25, 2015, 05:25:49 PM
Yeah i am just a couple years behind you, i will be 27 in a month.  I do not really care anymore what people might think, i mean it sucks obviously having never had a gf but honestly i would care more about finding someone compatible rather than just taking anyone to make myself look normal to others.  But in general i have given up on that social stuff

You do a lot of gym stuff.  I have done some gym at various times in the past, basic stuff nothing too extreme, i am a skinny guy.  To be honest if i was having hemmorhoid issues i would really steer clear of any physical activity for a while.  But that is just me, everyone knows their own body and limits.

The body is surprisingly resilient though.  It tries to maintain equilibrium and balance at all times.  That might also explain some of the muscle stuff you were talking about.  It is like when a person is blind, they will start to develop better hearing sense.  The body does whatever it needs to do to keep everything good. 

I have not been able to determine too many patterns pertaining to sensation.  Obviously it feels different in the morning versus night.  I think the big difference for me is how hydrated i am.  That makes a difference.  Usually in the morning i am more dehydrated. 

Anyways i just masturbated again using my new technique which is really pretty decent.  It is so satisfying when i get the feeling of finally being able to get the "nut" out if you know what i mean.  I do not just mean a normal ejaculation i mean something deeper that emerges from deep within somewhere in between the scrotum and penis (prostate?).  All i know is that i am so used to ejaculating but feeling so disappointed since i can nevef get the nut out.  But now it seems like i am more able to get it out in the past week. 

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on May 25, 2015, 06:45:44 PM
Yeah i am just a couple years behind you, i will be 27 in a month.  I do not really care anymore what people might think, i mean it sucks obviously having never had a gf but honestly i would care more about finding someone compatible rather than just taking anyone to make myself look normal to others.  But in general i have given up on that social stuff

You do a lot of gym stuff.  I have done some gym at various times in the past, basic stuff nothing too extreme, i am a skinny guy.  To be honest if i was having hemmorhoid issues i would really steer clear of any physical activity for a while.  But that is just me, everyone knows their own body and limits.

The body is surprisingly resilient though.  It tries to maintain equilibrium and balance at all times.  That might also explain some of the muscle stuff you were talking about.  It is like when a person is blind, they will start to develop better hearing sense.  The body does whatever it needs to do to keep everything good. 

I have not been able to determine too many patterns pertaining to sensation.  Obviously it feels different in the morning versus night.  I think the big difference for me is how hydrated i am.  That makes a difference.  Usually in the morning i am more dehydrated. 

Anyways i just masturbated again using my new technique which is really pretty decent.  It is so satisfying when i get the feeling of finally being able to get the "nut" out if you know what i mean.  I do not just mean a normal ejaculation i mean something deeper that emerges from deep within somewhere in between the scrotum and penis (prostate?).  All i know is that i am so used to ejaculating but feeling so disappointed since i can nevef get the nut out.  But now it seems like i am more able to get it out in the past week.

I feel you bro, I really do, I really really do. I don't want to settle for some image of normality either, the thing is wanting to look normal is less important to me than feeling what I want to feel with a woman, and because I can't achieve what I want in that area I bypass it, but it hurts because I want to be with someone, I've never even been in love. I don't want this whole thing to be part of my psychology, it's a worry, and with everything else on top it acts like a barrier to relationships, a stone wall, like it just wasn't ever meant for me. Sometimes I wonder about karma and all the rest of it, there are much worse things in life though but boy it's a drag.

I should add also I have phimosis (tight foreskin) and a tight frenulum breve, nothing major, but it compounds the whole lack of feeling, lack of enjoyment thing further. I'm going to tackle this issue with stretching exercises, because my case really isn't that bad, I'm going to get some diprosone cream from the GP which apparently thins the skin and will help with the stretching exercises. I thought at one point I had damaged nerves in the head of the penis due to the constriction of the foreskin when erections were very hard, but I very much doubt this now.

The only reason I'm into working out is because it makes me more confident about my body, and also because I'm abstaining from sex at the moment the energy has to go somewhere. I have actually taken sertraline myself (you mentioned in your thread) and found it gave me a totally numb dick lol and I couldn't achieve orgasm on it at all, it's very good for socialising I've found. Maybe it's placebo but I can take just one pill on occasion and it can lift my mood totally and make me more social, psychiatrists dispute this and say you need a build up in your system but it's not what I've found, on the slim chance it's placebo well then let it be placebo lol

I think you're right about the sensation, and it has been mentioned on here that the body goes through it's various cyclical processes over a 24hr period, I just thought I'd ask. Thanks for bringing my attention back to the PC muscle, I'm going to make this a focus point
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on August 24, 2015, 05:38:39 PM
The circles are the muscles running from the penis down the perineum to the anus and then behind. In me these muscles and the superficial ones just inside the anus and above were not working in synergy anymore. Now when I pinch the penis those muscles move like a wave (though that hardly worked at all when everything was tense). I still have tension often at the red circle which stops the wave dead. Also for me sometimes those muscles can’t move quickly with dexterity like they should sometimes they can now and that’s when everything feels its best. These are the muscles that the aneros helix and becoming mindful will fix.

Quoting Ralding's post despite the face he's not longer here. ...

I'd like to know if anyone has tried massaging the inside of the anus with either a thumb or aneros helix ? I went back to try this recently with no success..

He speaks on it as though it's easy to do but with anything up there all I am experiencing is at best discomfort.

I'd like to know HOW this bundle of muscles and nerves can be released as for me it's an area of total mystery.

I've noticed that my anus has become hypersensitive post-strenous activity.

Pretty much anything that taxes the CNS seems to increase sensitivity of the anus skin, which I initially passed of as itching, not thinking to raise this as a potential symptom with the urologist.

In line with this, the sensitivty of the penis feels at it's most numb and unresponsive.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Dante55 on August 24, 2015, 06:55:20 PM
That quote sums it up perfectly

The area he's describing is the levator ani. Trigger points in that area directly correlate with the penis. The protocol I'm following has helped me gain control over this. I think retraining the motor system through functional movement exercises is the most effective way to do this, as I tried things such as stretching and massage and had no success. Now that I've regained control those are helpful, but before that doing that on its own was like trying to bend a metal spoon with my mind.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on August 27, 2015, 09:56:03 AM
That quote sums it up perfectly

The area he's describing is the levator ani. Trigger points in that area directly correlate with the penis. The protocol I'm following has helped me gain control over this. I think retraining the motor system through functional movement exercises is the most effective way to do this, as I tried things such as stretching and massage and had no success. Now that I've regained control those are helpful, but before that doing that on its own was like trying to bend a metal spoon with my mind.

Dante,

What I need to make clear is that despite these exercises being progressive, what I NEED right now is to take a more hands on approach, quite literally.

Ralding made progress from actively massaging these areas , he was applying a technique and feeling the results, and that's what I'm seeking guidance on.

I don't discredit what you are doing, I'm following that path ALSO, but I just as keenly interested in massaging and stretching if only to build a mental map of the inner workings in the pelvis.

Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: Dante55 on August 27, 2015, 11:38:20 AM
What I need to make clear is I took that approach for more than a year of hard work and dedication and it amounted to nothing

Everything Ralding wrote was completely spot on, but absolutely USELESS to someone in my position. I could hold a yoga pose all day everyday and self massage myself for hours day after day. The muscles will not relax if the tension is neurological in nature. I can't explain that any more cut and dry. I want no other human to experience the frustration I have had to deal with. Massage and stretching are excellent tools once you re-establish a bit of sensory motor control.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: andrew_b on August 28, 2015, 12:45:53 PM
Hi Richard. The somatics and the trauma release exercises should accomplish a freeing up of the pelvic muscles. For example the shaking induced during the TRE exercises should be effective in freeing up these muscles.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on August 31, 2015, 01:04:55 PM
Hi Richard. The somatics and the trauma release exercises should accomplish a freeing up of the pelvic muscles. For example the shaking induced during the TRE exercises should be effective in freeing up these muscles.

I'll post again once I've properly given it the time.

I hope the rest of you guys are going at these exercises every day, look forward to the feedback !
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: neverlooseahope on November 01, 2016, 02:02:20 PM
Hello dear friends!
I just made this account for people without hope to get some hope again.I will be very short though. I have had numbness in my penis for ever since I remember. It put me into depression every day/or I had depression so I had numbness?Who knows. I attended meditation retreat this year.It was after I read this topic couple months ago,I gave what is here a little try but I didnt feel much results.Still numb.So I went to the meditation retreat totally desperate,about this. The main focus was observing the breathing of the body. Guys,many incredible things happend there beside this but I started to be aware after couple days of meditation of a lot of a tension in the body.Everything in the pelvic area was tensed,also my abdomens were in the constant state of spasm.So after that had been realized.I started to experiment with the breathing,after couple days I was able to realease the whole pelvic floor so much that  so strong sensitivity happend that a feeling like just before the orgasm was possible just through the breathing. Im not going to be very technical with this but basicaly I was breathing in through the diapraghm down and pushing everything to the earth/releasing all pelvic floor/,also when I breathed out I was releasing everything as much as it was possible. It needs a lot of mindfulness during everyday life to be aware of the tensions in that particullar area, so when you catch your self tensing you should relax in all activities so the body gets a new habit. Also dont masturbate until you start to feel some results and be patient, because trough masturbation old habits will come back,probably tension happend while masturbating so it will be very easy to get tensed again.You will be discovering and will find what works for you. Massage that was recommended here I think would help a lot too. So thank you very much for sharing in this topic and good luck to everybody! I will not come back here again most probably,just wanted to share this.In case someone has a serious question,you can write me an email I will try to help,but try first to discover through advice I wrote here and be patient.Everything is impermanent ,what now looks black can be white after sometime,just dont loose hope.

Dan

Edit: I'm sure this is not the only solution,but it is worth of trying. Also I want to mention I was taking Vitamin B12 in the form of MethylCobalamin but the results came in the meditation retreat.
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: neverlooseahope on November 02, 2016, 02:09:47 AM
here are some of the concepts that are simillar to the breathing and releasing that I did. http://www.pelvicphysiotherapy.com/exercise-guide/
Title: Re: I have the cure! Read here for the guide.
Post by: RocketTN3 on February 11, 2017, 03:00:30 AM
Just to say I have completely debunked this pelvic floor theory as irrelevant to me personally. As per my recent thread in the general section, I was recently diagnosed with lyme disease. I'm irritated I wasted time with all this nonsense and I can't explain why Ralding recovered, I suspect what he had was never EA in the first place. The improvements in ejaculation and EA were (I believe) for the most part psychosomatic (a placebo affect). I believe I spent a lot of time nurturing the sexual experience which improved masturbation and because I was and still am so desperate to get better I linked these occasional improvements to long term recovery, which it wasn't. Reading back on my past contributions - as well as embarrassing - allow me to see how I've picked specific things to form a theory which in reality is just baseless. I think deep down that I reached this conclusion some years ago but allowed myself to be swayed as I was also annoyed that people here originally attacked me for not believing the pelvic floor theory, which gave me the impetus to keep trying. Now I know for sure it is not the cause of my EA. I don't blame anyone here because I know how desperate it becomes and the tendency to cling to hope.

Just to be clear I won't be wasting anymore of my time with this theory although I would urge those who are finding it useful to continue because I don't know everyone's symptomology and I would not want to rob anyone of a potential personal breakthrough. I do think generally changing one's belief systems, getting more active, engaging in regular stretching are all health boosters, as can be seen here from some guys reporting improvement in EA just from being more active and putting their mind onto other things like hobbies, etc. The trouble is this is not (speaking personally) going to ever solve my EA as my EA is lyme induced, so no I'm not going to settle for a slight improvement in EA, I want to get back what I lost so many years ago.

Healing is a journey and despite my lyme diagnosis being terrifying and panic inducing at the start, a lot of my research suggests that the damage done is reversible. I would also suggest anyone still netted in the pelvic floor theory to have blood tests and have a lyme test, because this is invaluable to see what is going on inside your body. Hormones play a big role as well and it's impossible to know without proper testing.

One thing I have come to really realise with these sort of self-help boards is that out of frustration and desperation we often place blind faith in others; anyone offering a solution to our problems. The key is to accept we are all different, with completely different constitutions and ecologies. It is impossible to know whether something will work unless you try it yourself but at the same time don't get bogged down in any one theory. What I will personally never do again is pretend I know the anwers out of frustration, and hold them up to other people to follow. I'm not angry at Ralding or others like Dante, but people for the love of god, investigate every avenue before committing to months or years of unproven protocols and training regimes. Get all your levels checked, and in the case of lyme, go to a state of the art lab that offers proper testing. There are millions of people that go undiagnosed every year because of some reservists in the health system who are in denial about it's true impact.

Peace everyone and I wish you all the best for recovery.